Brothers & Sisters

You know, every so often the ABC website features some cutesy little thing like Valentines or quizzes. I’m always happy to see Brothers & Sisters included in such foolishness, rather than being ignored as is so often the case. But sometimes the results don’t quite make good on the promise of extra show goodies.

It is with those mixed emotions that I regard the Mother’s Day e-cards currently being touted on the site. The good news is that B&S is represented in all four categories. The bad news is … well, let me just describe them for you, and let you form your own judgments.

Category: New Moms
Photo: Julia holding Elizabeth, who is sticking out her tongue in a way that says, “I can’t believe they’re exploiting my cuteness like this.”
Caption: “Mom, you’re the greatest. Happy Mother’s Day!”
What It Should Have Said: “Mom, I’m glad you’re staying with Daddy for my sake! Happy Mother’s Day!”

Category: Nesting
Photo: Nora, hands clasped.
Caption: “We like you, Mom, we really like you!”
What It Should Have Said: “We act like we don’t need you, Mom, but don’t even think about leaving town.”

Category: Words of Wisdom
Photo: Nora and Sarah, face to face.
Caption: “Thanks for all the great unwanted advice throughout the years. Happy Mother’s Day!”
What It Should Have Said: Aw, you know, this one is marginally appropriate. Though I wouldn’t advise sending it to your actual mother.

Category: Letting Go
Photo: Nora on the phone.
Caption: “Mom, I wanted to call, but we live in the internet age. Happy Mother’s Day.”
What It Should Have Said: “Sometimes motherhood means sucking it up.” (Oh, wait, that would be under “Words of Wisdom.”)

More than appropriate captions, though, I think ABC is really missing the boat by not doing a card with Rebecca and Holly on it. Just think of the possible touching sentiments:

“Mom, you’re a liar who hopped from bed to bed and didn’t even know who fathered her own baby. Happy Mother’s Day!”

“You were willing to be sloppy seconds for some rich jerk with a wife and kids, and my dad didn’t want to fess up to having a bastard child with his mistress because he didn’t want to risk his Norman Rockwell life. Do I have it straight, Mom?”

“Are you sure you’re really my mother? Really sure?”

Maybe they’re saving Becca for Father’s Day e-cards. Something like, “Sorry you’re not my dad after all,” or, “It’s a girl!”

What combination of Walker and sentiment would you like to see on a card? Share your creativity in the comments.

Brothers and Sisters, ABC, e-cards, Mother’s Day