“Two Places”: Memorable lines

As a follow-up to yesterday’s recap, here are some memorable lines from the “Two Places” episode.
Lena: I’ll even make you my famous french toast in the morning, which in the spirit of full disclosure I get from the diner across the street.
Robert: How are you feeling?
Kitty: Great, really great. Except, you know, I’m exhausted and I’m constantly fighting the urge to vomit.
Robert: Aw, I wish I could be there. I would hold your hair back while you puke.
Kitty: You know what, you’re so romantic.
Kitty: Operation Puppy is proceeding as planned.
Robert: Must we call it Operation Puppy.
Kitty: Well, Operation Shotgun Wedding Because the Condom Broke just doesn’t have the same ring.
Scotty: I’d really rather not do this here.
Kevin: I’d rather not stalk my friend for him to talk to me, but I’m here.
Scotty: My tuition was due, so I fell behind on my rent … and my car insurance, and my phone bill.
Kevin: You’re homeless.
Scotty: Oh, I like to think of it as being between homes.
Kevin: Look, I have … I’ve got an inflatable mattress. You should come stay with me.
Scotty: Are you really sure there’s room for me with all our baggage?
Kevin: I have a boyfriend and I’m in love, so …
Scotty: And your missionary really won’t mind?
Kevin: If he’s going to be looking after poor schoolchildren, the least I can do is shelter a struggling … culinary artist.
Nora: Kitty’s much more of a traditionalist than that.
Justin: Except for the fact that she got knocked up before the “I Do’s”
Nora: Well, yes, except for that.
Isaac: People like celebrity weddings. Political weddings … the last one that meant anything was Charles and Diana, and look how well that turned out.
Nora: You should have seen this child, four years old, she put a dishcloth on her head pretending it was a veil, walked down the aisle, as if to Prince Charming.
Kitty: That was Kevin.
Nora: It was both of you.
Nora: Robert and Kitty deserve more than drop ceilings and fluorescent lights .. Fluorescent lights, Kitty!
Kitty: He is the best at damage control.
Robert: He is damage!
Rebecca: Sarah and I are being civil, which is an improvement over her just glaring at me.
Tommy: Mom, it’s all family. Do we really need assigned seating?
Saul: Please, Nora, don’t sit me next to Kevin.
Robert: It’s hard to be mad at you when we’re having a puppy.
Justin: With this family, I think I’ve mastered the skill of not drinking around drinkers.
Robert: You’re good. Kitty was right about that. But there’s something she doesn’t know. Ten years ago, you were doing some consulting work for Michael Breen who was running for state senate in California, do you remember the race?
Isaac: It was a long time ago.
Robert: I was his opponent. And just as I started to get some traction, the Sacramento paper wrote an article outing my brother, who of course wasn’t out at the time. It practically ruined my relationship with Jason. It devastated him, not to mention what it did to my family. I almost quit politics after that. Any idealism I had about public policy or the sanctity of government was completely obliterated by what you did.
Sarah: We’ll work it out when the time comes.
Paige: No, that’s not what happens. You fight and you yell.
Joe: The first weekend she stays with you.
Sarah: She’s stayed with me her whole life. I told you she was in trouble, I told you. If anything happens to her …
Joe: What? You’ll blame me. Sarah, you’re supposed to be watching her. She’s with you, not me.
Sarah: Damn you! We did this to her! Why did you have to make it so hard?
Joe: She didn’t disappear from my house.
Justin: You know what, yeah, you’re right, I’m using more than what the doctor prescribed. You wanna know why? So I can get better, fast, because I am sick and tired of being here while my friends die over there, and I can’t tell anyone that because they won’t get it. But I want to go back. Can you understand that?
Rebecca: No. No, Justin, I don’t believe you. I think you’re telling yourself that because it seems noble and important, but you’re using because you’re an addict, Justin, and you’ll always find a reason.
Paige: I do things that I know will get me in trouble, but I do them anyhow.
Justin: It’s been hard with your mom and dad, huh.
Paige: I wish I could be two places at the same time.
Justin: Me, too.
Paige: I don’t want you to get a divorce.
Sarah: Oh, Paigey. I’m sorry. The thing is, life just sometimes doesn’t work out the way that you want it to. And there’s nothing that you can do that will change it.
Scotty: If you’re feeling romantic about him, The Thornbirds. If you’re angry at him, The Exorcist. And if you’re just in the mood for a good time and my personal favorite, Glitter.
Robert: My fiance and I lost our baby less than 24 hours ago, and we just cancelled our wedding. I have to fly to New Hampshire to talk to the Family Taxpayer’s Associations. I haven’t had a minute to think about what just happened until I was in the hospital waiting room. You know what I was thinking? That I never wanted the baby. I have two kids of my own already, and I thought I was done. And I never told Kitty. And I can’t tell Kitty. And I don’t know if God is giving me what I want, or punishing me, or both. So Isaac, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to ignore your advice, I haven’t quite reached your level of sober pragmatism. Before I can spin what’s just happened to Kitty and I, I’m going to need just about two hours to feel like crap.
For more recaps and memorable lines, visit the pages for Season 1 and Season 2.
Photos: ABC.com
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