Brothers & Sisters

If Mom asks a group of adult siblings to all go together on a weekend outing, the odds are pretty high that one and all will find some excuse to stay in town that weekend. But what are the odds that they would all individually decide, with their particular significant others, to sneak off to that same weekend destination anyway, each presuming privacy? Apparently, if you’re on an ensemble TV drama, the odds are pretty darn good. You’d think a manipulative mama like Nora would know that, and not have been caught by her kids, semi-clothed, with a naked contractor in her bedroom. A girl can’t think of everything, I guess.

The impetus for the weekend getaways is the selling of the family vacation home, a cozy cottage where the kids had many significant growing up memories, and Nora had a panel with their heights marked as they grew up and up. That’s why she brought Dave the contractor with her on her trip to the house — to take off the panel before the house was sold. The taking off of the clothes only occurred after they were caught in a rainstorm, don’tcha know.

Also coming in out of the rain are Warren and Kitty, who are sneaking off for a weekend to see if their relationship might gain some traction away from the demands of their show and the distractions of Amber. Kevin and Scotty show up, and Sarah and Joe, both couples looking to get a weekend away together and to see the treehouse where, presumably on separate occasions, both Kevin and Sarah lost their virginity to a local stud named Tucker Booth. Justin brings Tyler along for a wild weekend, to see the treehouse where he got high for the first time with … aw, you know. And Tommy and Julia get away to recover from depressing sessions at the sperm donor clinic, considering anonymous fathers for their child.

So there they all are, all those Walkers, all looking for some private romantic time, all thrown together with family family family, to the point where couples can’t even bunk together due to limited rooms. Of course, there’s too much rain for everybody to just skedaddle back home, so they have to stay and have revelations and deep meaningful conversations and stuff. Sarah and Joe make out in the attic, but not before Sarah finds a photo of a mystery baby. Kitty realizes that Warren has come away with her without actually bothering to break up with Amber first, and they break up again. Tommy tells Kevin about his infertility and asks him to donate his sperm to the cause; Kevin immediately assumes it’s because he’s gay, and therefore thought by Tommy to be unlikely to have kids otherwise, but I’m sure I must be in the majority of the viewing audience assuming it’s because Justin’s sperm is probably totally mutated by the amount of chemicals that boy’s taken in. To confirm the “Would you want a kid by this brother?” message, Justin and Tyler fall naked out of the treehouse to punctuate Tommy’s request.

The weekend spins out of control, as family drama weekends must, as Sarah shows the mystery baby picture around the dinner table and learns it can’t be one of them, spurring tears from Julia at the mere site of a baby, spurring Sarah to make a cutting comment about Kevin’s unwillingness to help, spurring Julia to wail, “Oh, Tommy, you asked Kevin for his sperm, didn’t you,” which ought to really end dinner right there, but Nora, never nonplussed, merely asks, “Is there something special about Kevin’s sperm that I’m not aware of?” And then Sarah’s sniping at Kevin and Kevin’s sniping at Scotty and there is no amount of mango peach salsa that will make things alright. Justin offers to help Tommy and Julia out, so to speak, but Tommy’s not interested, and people scatter into the night. Warren gives Scotty a ride outa there, and off they go, into the land of unemployed former love interests of series regulars. Bye, guys! Dave the contractor kisses Nora, keeping himself momentarily out of the Land of Former Love Interests, but don’t get your hopes up, buddy.

The sperm situation is resolved through a series of heart-tugging monologues, as so many difficult situations are. Kevin confesses to Kitty that he just doesn’t want to bring a child into this world who will feel different and alone, as he did. Kitty assures him that any child born a Walker will have so many people on his or her side that … well, that kid will probably long to be alone once in a while, no? Meanwhile, Justin goes to Tommy and tells him about a wartime experience that left him feeling as though he owes a life, and he really wants to donate for himself, not to help Tommy and Julia. And, well, okay! As long as it’s all about you, that’s cool.

So the Walkers get back to town, and Tommy and Kevin and Justin skip off to the sperm bank to start a new Walker generation, and Sarah shows the photo to Saul and guesses, finally, that it must be Rebecca, and Holly’s daughter. A new generation of Walkers, indeed.

Original air date: 11/05/06

_{Photos: ABC.com}