Pssst, Ryan!
Hey, you! Ryan whatever-your-last-name-is! Over here!
You don’t know it, buddy, but sometime next fall, give or take an actor’s strike, your life is going to be turned upside down.
Maybe you have no reason to expect that you might have another family. You may believe your dad’s your dad and not be in the market for some dead dude to be your actual DNA donor. But I’m sorry to say, that’s not likely to stop your Walker brothers and sisters. They’re entirely well-meaning, but they don’t know when to leave well enough alone.
Eventually, one of them — maybe Sarah, ’cause she’s got practice — is going to break it to you that your mother had an affair with her father and you are by blood a Walker. First, before you do anything else, I implore you, get a DNA test. Because, for example, if you decide you want to hit on Sarah, it would be good to be sure you’re not really her brother. Not absolutely necessary, as it turns out, but good nonetheless.
Then, if indeed you are found to be a Walker, the true meaning of the “R” in William’s password, I’ve got another “R” word for you: Run.
Run fast, before you become intoxicated by those beautiful siblings with their wit and their banter and their parties and their mother who could so easily replace your dead one. They look good, but brother, they are a disaster waiting to happen. And not waiting long — there’s one every few episodes.
You’ve probably led an uneventful life up until now. Enjoy it. Return to it. Or risk the fan hatred for this misbegotten plotline transferring to your young shoulders.
No offense, but the next best thing we can do to hoping this whole plotline goes away is hoping that you do. Don’t let us down.
– Terri
Photo: ABC.com
May 21st, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Yes, Ryan, please don’t take this too personal, but I kinda hope you turn out to be ..sort of… kinda …dead-ish, you know. No offence. You will probably be a very nice kid etc. etc., but really there are enough Walkers at the moment and we don’t need another one.
If you realise that McKitty are considered the VIPs, as is Nora, and the writers are going to spend time trying to get us ‘on board’ with Justecca, this means that little valuable sceentime remains for characters as Kevin/Scotty, Tommy/Julia, Sarah, Holly and Saul.
Now don’t get me wrong. I can do without Holly, I’d miss Saul and would be sour about Tommy/Julia, but I love Sarah and absolutely adore Kevin/Scotty, so YOU imposing yourself on their screentime would really make me hate you through all eternity.
Besides, let’s face it, you being kinda dead would give the Walkers a perfect excuse (not they really NEED one) to do what they do best, namely get drunk, preferably in a karaoke bar, where they can make real good fools of themselves….
So, pretty please, kick the bucket.
Affectionately yours,
Sylviane
May 21st, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Maybe he’s a missionary in Malaysia, and therefore unreachable.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:29 am
If we have to meet him, I hope that he gets involved in a sibling storyline so he doesn’t suck too much time on his own story. Maybe this will be a way to give Sarah a storyline.
This time I think they should let Kevin pull his hair so they can do a DNA test immediately
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
“Maybe this will be a way to give Sarah a storyline.”
____
Let’s not. What if they have ‘chemistry’?