Brothers & Sisters

Thanksgiving Day was yesterday for those of us in the U.S., a day in which to contemplate all the many ways in which our families are quirky and dysfunctional and loving and lethal and screwed-up and screwball. But can your family hold a candle to the Walkers? If you can answer yes to at least a few of these questions — drawn from a variety of goings-on at Walker gatherings over the past year or so — you may be worthy of an invitation to the next Pasadena debacle.

1. Did anybody at your family table accuse anybody else of sleeping with their husband?

2. Did anybody pull another person’s hair to be taken in for DNA testing?

3. Did alcohol consumption amount to about a bottle and a half per person?

4. Was anybody’s cooking ability made terrible fun of?

5. Did you have to eat duck because the butcher was out of turkey?

6. Was there a discussion of sperm, specifically whose was nonfunctioning and whose was needed as a replacement?

7. Did someone announce an intention to enlist, setting off a family battle?

8. Are family members still arguing about who lost an important game of trivia years ago?

9. Is anybody attending your family dinners an illegitimate sibling, a former mistress, a never-married and overly involved uncle, a political outcast, a drug addict, a philanderer, an embezzler, or a U.S. senator?

10. Did anybody either die in the pool or jump into it joyfully?

It remains to be seen whether we’ll even get a Walker Thanksgiving this year. Last year, it was kind of shoehorned in to the �?Mistakes Were Made Part 2�? episode, right there at the end, just enough time to joke about Kitty’s cooking and praise the wonders of family family family.

This year, the opportunity to have a Thanksgiving episode pre-Thanksgiving was ruined by the American Music Awards (and again I say, boo!) Maybe a family feast will get shoehorned in this year with the wedding prep on Sunday, though neither the sneak previews nor the press release mention it.

I guess the wedding planning gives plenty of opportunity for the family to get together, but I do so hate to lose the opportunity to watch them around the table.

_{Photo: ABC.com}

Brothers and Sisters, ABC, Thanksgiving, humor