Brothers & Sisters

As a follow-up to the recap, here are some memorable lines from the episode “Game Night.” Did I miss your favorites? Add them in the comments.

Kitty: Did he tell you that I have a gay brother?
Jason: No, but congratulations!

Robert: Are you crazy? Didn’t your brother give you the “Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean you fix me up with every gay guy you meet” speech?

Robert: From what I hear, Kevin’s a serial dater.
Kitty: No, no, no, he just, he just, you know, couldn’t, no, no, he was just picking the wrong guys.
Robert: Please Kitty, you used the phrase, and I’m quoting here, “man whore.”
Kitty: I did not!
Robert: I want you to promise me, I want you to say the words, “No set-ups.”
Kitty: No set-ups.

Nora: Who reserves meat?

Nora: You kids haven’t even touched your duck.
Paige: Are these the same ducks as the ones in the park, Grandma?
Nora: No, sweetheart, no no no, they’re very different ducks.
Paige: But they were alive at one time, right?
Cooper: Quack, quack quack quack, quack!
Sarah: Paige, you don’t have to eat your duck, but please eat your rice and your potatoes.
Paige: But the duck’s touching the rice and potatoes.
Justin: Wait a minute, this is duck?
Saul: All right, kids, why don’t you pass your plates over to Uncle Tommy and Uncle Kevin.
Kevin: Oh, right, we’ll sit here and eat Huey and Dewey with these two staring at us.

Kevin: We used to call them “Bizarro Walkers.”
Julia: Bizarro?
Nora: They were just like us, only evil.

Tommy: Picture the Bloods and the Crips playing charades. That’s what it was like.

Kevin: No way in hell. I don’t do blind dates.
Kitty: I promise, he’s completely your type.
Kevin: What, attractive and emotionally unavailable?
Kitty: No, that would be you.
Kevin: Yeah. Where’d you meet him?
Kitty: Mutual friend.
Kevin: I don’t like your friends.

Kitty: You already know four Jasons?
Kevin: Yeah, CGN. Common Gay Name. Only outdone by Ryan and Philip.

Kevin: I know you only know me as a demented hair yanker, but I can actually appear to be quite normal sometimes.
Rebecca: I’m sure.
Kevin: So I was wondering if you’d want to get together sometime, go see a movie, someplace public of course, so you won’t have to feel scared.

Nora: I’m happy to gobble down a sandwich in 15 minutes if it means getting even a little quality time with my girl.
Kitty: Mom, we live together.

Lizzy: I couldn’t even look at Betty Ford without crying.
Nora: I never could.

Rebecca: Okay, I never really had brothers and sisters, so I don’t know how big families work. Maybe this is the normal thing to do, you know, you just do things in a clump, like you all get together, solve problems …
Kevin: No, no no, we tend to make things worse and then blame each other.
Sarah: Yeah, that’s pretty much how it works.
Tommy: Yeah.
Rebecca: Anyhow, I appreciate you guys trying to include me, but it’s just feeling a little bit forced, like I’m a chore on your to-do list, you know, go pick up the dry cleaning, make connection with half illegitimate sister Becca, maybe we could all just chill out a bit.

Jason: On blind dates, I generally just leave my car idling at the curb
Kevin: Smart. Or better yet, have a friend call your cell phone like 15 minutes into the date. If the guy’s a zero, you just, I don’t know, pretend there’s been a terrible accident, make your excuse and go to the hospital.
Jason: Wow, that’s not obvious at all.
Kevin: Right? You know, I almost didn’t call you.
Jason: Yeah? Why not?
Kevin: Fix up by my Republican sister …
Jason: Apparently, she had some of the Robert McCallister Kool-Aid.
Kevin: Yeah, she’s relentless. Did she hit you up to work for him?
Jason: No, I got myself off the hook. I make it a rule never to work for anyone who isn’t as smart as I am.
Kevin: I am so glad to hear you say that. “Hi, I’m Robert McCallister, I used to drive a helicopter, vote for me.”
Jason: I gather you’re not a fan.
Kevin: Well, let’s see, there’s the neanderthal position on gay marriage.
Jason: To be fair, he did admit he was wrong.
Kevin: Yeah, after the vote, which kind of makes him a weasel in my book.
Jason: How’d you get so cynical?
Kevin: What other response is there? The guy’s a mental midget, like you said.
Jason: No, I didn’t.
Kevin: Okay, whatever it is you did say, you said he was dumb.
Jason: No.
Kevin: Okay, you know, I’ve had like three double-shot lattes, so I may be having a teensy case of caffeine rage at this moment, but you have to admit, Robert McCallister and his ilk are kind of what’s wrong with this country.
Jason: Got a call coming in.
Kevin: I didn’t hear it ring.
Jason: It’s on vibrate. Excuse me, hospital calling. There’s been an accident. Gotta go.

Sarah: There is no way they’re real.
Justin: I don’t care
Sarah: She did not have them in high school
Justin: Still not caring.

Kevin: You know why, it’s because I’m not as gay as you, Donna.

Nora: Didn’t you and Donna used to date in high school?
Kevin: We were each other’s beards at junior prom, which only went slightly better than the blind date Kitty set me up on today.

Kevin: Mom, why don’t you and Miranda Jones get down on the floor and wrestle, it would make it so much easier and faster for the rest of us.

Robert: Yes, Kevin, it seems that she fixed you up with my brother unbeknownst to both of us, and apparently it did not go well.
Kevin: Yeah, you could say that.
Kitty: Really? What happened?
Robert: I don’t know, he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to cause trouble.
Kitty: Okay, look, I’m sorry, okay? But could we just table this please.
Robert: I’m going to go get something to eat and you two can happily strangle each other.

Tommy: The women in this family are really starting to scare me.

All, playing charades: Sounds like sister!
Kevin: Backstabber! Shrew!
All: Kitty! Sounds like Kitty! Third word! Sounds like shooting, murder!
Kevin: “Die, Kitty, Die!”

Joe: They’ve got this whole rhythm thing going on, and you’re the extra beat.

Sarah: Right hand green.
Tommy: How come I get stuck playing Operation with Dr. Demento and Justin gets to do that.
Sarah: Those things are rock hard. He could get a concussion.

Robert: I have made my appearance, I have met all the Joneses, and I have kept up with them.

Kevin: Go ahead, Senator, say it. Say how you don’t think I’m good enough for him.
Robert: Okay, I don’t.
Kitty: Okay, just a second here. My brother Kevin is smart and good and kind and generous and thoughtful …
Kevin: Handsome, don’t forget handsome.
Kitty: … and handsome, and you know what, Jason happens to be a very nice boy, I’m sure, but frankly, I think Kevin was slumming it a bit.
Robert: Your apology’s not working out very well, so I’m going to choose to ignore most of it.

Kitty: You’re just going to have to forgive me if I am too tired of dealing with dad’s mistakes to take the latest one out for tea.

Sarah: No mother would ever call her daughter Juliet Capulet.

Rebecca: Whenever I’m around all of you, I have this urge to apologize.

Rebecca: I’ve got to meet some friends.
Kitty: At 11 o’clock? Oh my god, I wish I had your life.
Rebecca: Sarah said the same thing the other night. Which is funny, because I want the one you guys had.

Joe: I used to try and figure out the crazy family dynamic, who’s mad at who, who knows what secret. I gave up. I think that they have some kind of gene mutation that won’t let outsiders in. But you know, to be fair, they’re fantastic in a crisis. When Paige was sick, they were incredible. It’s when they’re at their best. But the rub is, you have to be in a bad place to feel loved.

Kitty: I know your father. When we were in high school, he used to drink a lot of beer. Does he still drink a lot of beer?
Nora: Kitty!
Kitty: What? What? I’m just chatting.
Nora: What about your grandmother, she drinks a lot, doesn’t she. Have you ever seen her with a whole lot of bandages all over her face?
Kitty: Mother!
Nora: All right, it’s a question, you know, I’m just asking.

Rebecca: It’s just that Joe …
Justin: Joe who?
Rebecca: Sarah’s husband, Joe.
Justin: Joe? Our Joe?
Rebecca: I was over there earlier, and no one was there, and we were just talking and hanging out, you know, and he was showing me some stuff on the guitar …
Justin: And what happened?
Rebecca: He kissed me.

Brothers and Sisters, ABC, Game Night, dialog