“Double Negative”: Memorable lines

As a follow-up to yesterday’s recap, here are some memorable lines from the episode “Double Negative.” Did I miss one of your favorites? Share it in the comments.
Kevin: This is what you want, all alone in this big empty house?
Justin: Hello, I live here.
Kevin: Exactly.
Tommy: Let’s not get into your problems, all right?
Rebecca: Who’s Jamie?
Tommy: Mom’s interior designer.
Sarah: Yeah. When she turns up, it’s like a maternal distress call. When Kitty went to New York, within 24 hours, all the kitchen cabinetry — gutted.
Nora: Well, you know, the cabinetry was awful. It was dingy. It was maple.
Justin: When I enlisted in the army, all new wallpaper upstairs.
Kevin: How about when I came out? Most parents just cry. Mom rips out the entire backyard.
Sarah: Nothing but dirt, dumpsters and porta-potties for, like, two years.
Nora: Well, I thought Kevin would have a lot more pool parties. I was trying to be supportive.
Rebecca: Gosh, if it turns out I’m not a Walker, your mom’s gonna build a third floor. Not a bad deal, lose a sister, gain a ping-pong table.
Taylor: I think it’s time for Robert and I to bury the hatchet.
Kitty: I can think of a few places I’d like to bury the hatchet.
Taylor: All’s fair in politics.
Kitty: I think you mean “love and war.”
Taylor: Politics is love and war, at least when you do it right.
Taylor: Maggie, she loves it, all of it — the traveling, the rallies, the thousand-dollar-a-plate dinners, all the asses to kiss.
Kitty: I certainly don’t miss the asses.
Kitty: I’m drowning in his smugness and his aftershave.
Scotty: Tetanus shot, $25. Seven stitches, $2,500. Absence of health insurance, priceless.
Nora: There’s nothing in this room.
Decorator: There’s air and light.
Kevin: Every inch of my body is throbbing, and not in a good way.
Justin: Why is Scotty on oxycodone anyway?
Tommy: To ease the pain of dating Kevin.
Justin: Can’t you just make him your domesticated partner?
Kevin: Domestic partner, moron, he’s not a pet.
Kevin: If it was Kitty or Sarah, you’d tell?
Justin: I’ve known Kitty and Sarah since I was born, okay? I mean, they’ve seen me naked.
Tommy: What if Rebecca saw you naked?
Justin: That’s creepy, bro.
Kevin: You’re the one who brought up sisters and nudity.
Sarah: How is it that I graduated top of my class at business school, but the phrase “Paper Jam, Area B” just sends me over the edge.
Saul: I’ve been working in this company almost as long as you’re alive. With your dad, with Tommy, and now you. Why wouldn’t any of you have any faith that I just might know what I was doing?
Kitty: It’s so funny how you can always remember what I say when you’re trying to bolster an argument.
Rebecca: I asked her point blank if William Walker was my father. She swore, she swore I was his daughter. She lied to me, she lied to you, she lied to him!
David: It’s more complicated than that.
Rebecca: How is it complicated? She’s a liar who hopped from bed to bed and didn’t even know who fathered her own baby. Only reason she picked William is that he had the bigger bank account. I’m an idiot. I really thought, in spite of everything, that she loved me, that I mattered.
David: You do. Your mother loves you more than anything.
Rebecca: She loves herself. There’s no room for anybody else. … Is any of this even fazing you? Or are you too busy defending her to react to the fact that you’ve got a daughter? Hey, it’s a girl! Does that even get a freaking response from you? Or did you know? Answer me! Did you know?
David: The timing … you know, it was suspect. And — and, um, when I asked your mother, she admitted there was a chance, but given how slight it was, we both thought it would be better if we didn’t …
Rebecca: To what, to what, to leave me in the dark? To not have to deal with the fact that you’ve got a daughter? Were you relieved when she told you? Were you happy? Were you sad? Were you bummed that you never got to know me? How did you feel?
David: I wish I had a … a simple and perfect answer for you, but I don’t. All I know is that I was in no shape to be a father to you back then. I was a self-absorbed coke addict, and you didn’t deserve to grow up with that.
Rebecca: Right. Because growing up without a dad was such a blast.
David: Look at you, you’re smart and you’re beautiful and you’re funny, and that’s because of your mother.
Rebecca: Oh, stop defending her. Do you have any idea what she’s put me through? She let me live at Nora’s house, okay? She let me believe that I was part of their family. I fell in love with that family. … God, they’re expecting me at that fund-raiser tonight. Family dinners and birthday parties …
David: You don’t have to lose that.
Rebecca: What am I supposed to do, just sit there and pretend I’m related to them?
David: Rebecca, I was a crappy boyfried to your mother, and had I known the truth, I would have been a horrible father to you. You deserved better than me. You deserve to be happy.
Rebecca: I was happy. For the first time in my life, I was happy.
David: I’m sorry. We’ll figure something out, okay, I promise. I’m going to make this okay.
Scotty: I’m thinking of starting a charity of my own. Stitches for Bitches.
Sarah: Mom, I’ve got to get another drink. This cancer thing is such a downer.
Nora: Um, this is Ellen. Her son has leukemia.
Rebecca: I had an overwhelming urge to eat tiny pieces of cheese.
Kevin: Look, I think I’ve figured out a way to solve your problems.
Scotty: You’re going to teach me to devein shrimp with one hand?
Kevin: Your insurance problems.
Scotty: If it involves me not having to take a third job, I’m all for it.
Kevin: Why don’t we file for domestic partnership?
Scotty: Excuse me?
Kevin: It’s so simple. All we have to do is fill out some forms, get them notarized, and that is that. We are then recognized as a couple by the state of California, and that entitles you to the insurance from my firm. That’s medical, dental, vision, life, accidental death and dismemberment …
Scotty: Death and dismemberment, yippee.
Kevin: What’s with the sarcasm?
Scotty: Nothing. I said I was going to take care of it and I will, okay, Kevin? It’s my problem.
Kitty: It’s one thing losing you to something that you deeply believe in, it’s another thing losing you to Taylor’s administration.
Robert: Are you telling me you want me to turn down the vice presidency so we can have a baby?
Kitty: No. I just want you to want to. I just want your love for me to be more important than your ambition.
Robert: Please don’t act like my ambition is something new. It has always been there, you were attracted to it.
Nora: Are you here for the ice cream, or because you’re worried about me being alone in this big empty house.
Sarah: No, I’m worried about me being all alone in my middle-size empty house. And, the creamy vanilla ice cream.
Nora: For so long, Saul has been living in somebody else’s shadow, first your father’s, then yours. I think sometimes he felt like a shadow himself.
Kevin: I thought I was doing a good thing.
Scotty: You were doing a practical thing.
Kevin: What’s wrong with that?
Scotty: Kevin, for us, domestic partnership is it. You know, our only legal option, our version of marriage. For now, at least. And at the risk of sounding like a 12-year-old girl, I want my wedding to be special. “Practical” isn’t enough of a reason. So if and when I choose to take that step. I want to stand up in front of everyone I know and say, “This is the man I choose to be with, till I’m old and bald and incontinent.” … It sounded far more romantic in my head.
Kevin: It is romantic. But at the risk of sounding like a 30something straight guy, I don’t know if I’m ready for that, or if I ever will be.
Robert: I need a little clarification on what my role would be.
Taylor: I take a bullet, you get a promotion. That’s the role.
Justin: You’re a DNA-tested and approved Walker. which means you have to learn how to surf.
Rebecca: Do Sarah and Kitty know how to surf?
Justin: They’ve tried it once, and they complained the entire time.
Rebecca: Does it have to be this early?
Justin: It sounded just like that.
Kitty: You didn’t turn down Taylor just because of me, did you?
Robert: No, I turned Taylor down because of Taylor. At the end of the day, I couldn’t align myself with him. I’m not that ambitious.
For more recaps and memorable lines, visit the pages for Season 1 and Season 2.
Photo: ABC.com
Brothers and Sisters, ABC, Double Negative, recap, memorable lines

April 30th, 2008 at 8:40 am
“Kevin: It is romantic. But at the risk of sounding like a 30something straight guy, I don’t know if I’m ready for that, or if I ever will be.”
Scotty: I’m not asking you to be.
Kevin: Are you upset?
Scotty: No….
Wow, have my boys grown up or what?
April 30th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Followed by…
Scotty: We’re boyfriends not clones.
What a nice truthful discussion without lying or hysterics.
May 1st, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Have you seen Sarah Jane’s Blog on Cosmo’s web site? Really makes her seem real! http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrities/exclusive/sarah-jane-morris-intro
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:49 am
Justin: Why is Scotty on oxycodone anyway?
Tommy: To ease the pain of dating Kevin.
Justin: Can’t you just make him your domesticated partner?
Kevin: Domestic partner, moron, he’s not a pet.
Those were my favorite lines. And off course “stitches for bitches” that was hilarious