“Domestic Issues”: Memorable lines

As a follow-up to yesterday’s recap, here are some memorable lines from the “Domestic Issues” episode.
Travis: (as debate opponent) Senator, do you believe in evolution, or is it, as the Bible said, that God created the world in six days?
Robert: Well, that’s a little before my time.
Travis: That’s good! Use humor. It makes you seem like a real person.
Robert: I am a real person.
Travis: (Laughs)
Robert: If you’re asking me whether or not I believe in God, the answer’s yes.
Kitty: (Throws up)
Travis: What, is she an atheist?
Nora: Robert’s the best … of that awful bunch.
Lena: Are you firing me? Because I just bought a really amazing purse that cost me a fortune.
Nora: How about Ainsley? Alika?
Kitty: Mom, stop naming my nonexistent baby. And since when are you so adventurous with names? You threatened to disown Sarah when she named Cooper Cooper.
Nora: That’s different. Cooper’s a last name. I just didn’t think anyone wanted to have two last names.
Kevin: Joe’s hired a barracuda. I’m a guppie compared to that woman.
Justin: I overheard Mom on the phone, and she definitely used the word pregnant, and Kitty’s the only one of us having sex right now … wait, unless you’re …
Rebecca: Me? No, no, no. Are you?
Justin: No. God, I feel sad for us.
Justin: When Kevin came out? Pantry. When Sarah got engaged? Pantry. When Kitty told Mom she was a Republican? Pantry. Blam. Smoking gun.
Robert: Do I even have a position on unwed mothers?
Robert: You’re okay with the tie? Because they’re telling me it’s as important as my position on the Middle East.
Kevin: Pregnant? She wouldn’t, not now.
Justin: I heard Mom talking to her on the phone, and Mom saw me, right off into the pantry.
Kevin: Oh my God. Did she go all the way in?
Justin: All the way in.
Kevin: I’m going to be an uncle again.
Travis: All you have to do is go out there and not screw up. People just want to know who you are.
Robert: This isn’t a date! This isn’t a dinner party. If I can’t articulate my positions in a way that people get it, hear it, and want me to lead, then it may as well be a damn beauty pageant.
Robert: (Of champagne) Think of it as ginger ale, only more fun.
Kitty: I just found out I’m pregnant. And do I get to jump up and down, and be giddy, and call my mother and call my fiance and call my friends? No. Do I get to go out and buy booties, or whatever? No. No, because I have to worry about your campaign.
Kitty: You think it’s hard running for president? You should try being engaged to the guy who is.
Robert: I don’t know what part of me is more furious, the fiance who was the last person in the room to know, or the candidate who just got sandbagged by one of his senior staffers, who incidentally may or may not be getting sick backstage while I try to debate.
Nora: I’m sorry I got you all worked up. I don’t know, I can usually spot a pregnant Walker from a mile off.
Justin: It’s the little mama! … and Kitty!
Kevin: There it is. The Republican debate on the scariest day of the year.
Kevin: Ooh, McCallister’s tie? Tragic.
Justin: Where’s your costume?
Tommy: I’m an abandoned husband. You?
Justin: Wounded vet.
Tommy: Cool.
Girl: Trick or treat.
Kitty: Look, sexy nurse, sexy cat, sexy … what, prostitute? Very sweet, but you’re too old.
Guy: Uh, candy, or we have eggs in the car.
Sarah: Well, the only thing more depressing than not having your kids at Halloween is having to feed candy to other people’s kids. I thought the Republican debate would be more fun.
Robert: With all due respect, a nuanced position is different from no position.
Robert: I’d like to go back to Governor Adamson’s comments on my fiancee. Apparently, he believes that this party should be open only to those who share his own very conservative views. And you know, Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves. Teddy Roosevelt was a conservationist who founded our national parks. Dwight Eisenhower used federal troops to desegregate the schools. All of these men were Republicans. And as for bringing my fiancee’s personal views into this, you know Clayton, you’re fine at invoking family values, well, I value my family. And so I’d appreciate it if you debated me instead of my loved ones. Because, as I think we all can attest, our decision to run for president is much harder on them than it is on us.
Kitty: Sarah, what can I do for you.
Sarah: Make me not feel like every decision I’ve made in my adult life is wrong. And I’m going to lose my kids because of it.
Kitty: Oh, Sarah, come on. I mean, just look at those kids. Paige is more mature than we were when we were 20, and she’s so frickin’ smart, it’s scary. And Cooper, Cooper! He’s so confident. He walks into a room like he’s going to take over the world, and it’s all because of you. I mean, every day you show them what it is to be strong and in control and sure of yourself. I just hope that I can be half as good a mom as you.
Nora: Do you realize how I am going to spoil that child? Then I’ll hand them back to you, and criticize how you’re raising them.
Sarah: I’m a good mother. I know that. I may not be able to drop them off at school every day, but I am their mother, every day. You can’t punish me for trying to parent and work. I want my kids to know the joy that I get from my work, but it’s nothing compared to the joy that I get from being their mother, every day. And they know that. Please.
Kitty: So, do you know what they’re saying about you?
Robert: That I wore the wrong tie?
Joe: They’ll be well taken care of.
Nora: They’ve always been.
For more recaps and memorable lines, visit the pages for Season 1 and Season 2.
Photos: ABC.com
Brothers and Sisters, ABC, Domestic Issues, recap, memorable lines

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